From Lilith to Psyche

 

Lilith by John Cullier

After one heartbreaking and character dismantling relationship, the whole foundation of my psyche was shaken up.

I lost sight of myself and as I wandered aimlessly, I sought refuge in the dark feminine qualities of Lilith.

I no longer wanted to be a victim of an underdeveloped masculine figure and I both feared and refused to become one ever again.

I took a vow with the goddess.

I mastered requirements of her devotion and how to healthily embody her energy whenever she was invoked. But as quickly as she was the solution to my heart aches, she just as rapidly became the reasoning behind my own overly masculine personality.

I sought dominance and independence in all relations. Charm and seduction soon became my only desire. What was once a tool for protection & survival, became my shadow.

I could hear the screams for softness crying out from within my own psyche, but with no clue how to engage with the lighter side of my feminine aspects, I remained a devotee to the goddess of darkness.

Then on one unexpected day, when I had just accepted a death bestowed on me by Aphrodite, Eros took the bow to himself and placed me in his palace. This lovely ending differs from the tale of Asclepius, as this time it was Eros took the lamp and discovered me and offered an opportunity of light.

Psyche entering Cupid's Garden by John William Waterhouse